This has been on my mind lately. My dad is going through it, his sister has got it pretty bad and I apparently have the predisposed gene to get in my future.

I’m leaning no because I wouldn’t want to make my child go through slowly watching their dad’s mind leave them and also potentially pass it on to them when they get older.

It’s thrown me for a loop since I always imagined myself having kids and I’m around that age now.

What do you think?

Edit: I just want to say that I did not expect the kind of response this post got. I’m grateful for all of your comments and the perspectives it’s allowed me to peak into.

I also should mention that were I to have children they would most certainly not be burdened by being the crutch of my own personal journey of accepting and loving who I am. That is work for me alone and I would never unload that responsibility onto those I love and especially those who I’d be raising.

As for my partner not wanting kids, I would never consider forcing or persuading them to raise a child when they know for certain it’s not in their cards. This is another element in how I’ve been navigating this question. I love her with everything I have and I can’t imagine us being apart and yet there is a pang that lingers of the father I assumed I would eventually become.

Anyway, thanks again for your thoughtful replies. They’ve helped so much especially since this is the first time I’ve voiced these thoughts.

  • Mog_fanatic@lemmy.world
    15·
    2 years ago

    This is the main reason I have not had children. I am almost 100% guaranteed to get Alzheimer’s in the pretty near future. Having watched countless of my family members go through the absolutely heart wrenching process of Alzheimer’s progression, I can’t in good conscience have children (so far anyway, I’m not 100% on it) for two reasons:

    • I don’t want to put them through the grueling process of caring for, and dealing with someone dying from Alzheimer’s

    • While it’s not guaranteed obviously, I don’t want to doom a child to a very very good chance of getting Alzheimer’s at some point in their lives.

    There is of course a chance for a treatment to be developed but they’ve been saying that for decades and haven’t really come up with much of anything so far.

  • robotrash@lemmy.robotra.shEnglish
    173·
    2 years ago

    If you want kids you should have them. You can let fear of the ifs keep you from doing that. I say this being generally opposed to children as well lol

    • richieadler@lemmy.myserv.oneEnglish
      61·
      2 years ago

      I’d you want kids you should think carefully if you’re ready to raise them as better persons than you and to work for a better world that the one they received before you have them

      FTFY

  • regalia@literature.cafe
    81·
    2 years ago

    Definitely. They’ll be able to survive without me at that age and I’ll have my genes carry on. Not like they’ll last long with climate change anyways.

  • bi_tux@lemmy.world
    7·
    2 years ago

    This thread makea me think of dark souls 1, where Siglinde of Catharina had to kill her father as he went hollow.

    But seriosly, you seem like quiet a good parent, maybe adopt children, if you don’t want them to have bad odds of getting Alzheimer. Also realisticly your partner would be the first person who’d take care of you.

  • MNByChoice@midwest.social
    82·
    2 years ago

    How inheritable is it (50-50%)? How certain is that fate? How old are you?

    I would not count it as an absolute no. 65 years of life is better than many get, and everyone has something bad in their genetics.

    Also, you seem to care and that is rare. As you care, that is a plus for you raising someone. Maybe not your generic kids, but someone.

  • adrianmalacoda@lemmy.ml
    71·
    2 years ago

    I don’t want to have children, but if I knew I was going to get Alzheimer’s at 65 I would plan to leave this world at 64.

  • Dlayknee@lemmy.world
    41·
    2 years ago

    I lost my grandmother and dad to Alzheimer’s. I feel like it’s probably in my future, as well. It’s a miserable disease that makes me question a lot of end-care practices and my wife & I are absolutely going to have some strategies in place, but to answer your question we already have 3 beautiful children that I can’t imagine life without (pretty sure there’s an Alzheimer’s joke in there, somewhere). I certainly don’t want to put them through what I saw with my Dad, but I also wouldn’t want to have missed out on all the wonderful experiences I’ve had/will have with them on account of a “what if”.

    Ultimately, the choice is yours to make but you’re clearly putting a lot of worthwhile thought into it and I’m sure whatever you decide will be the best choice for you. I’m sorry about your dad & sister, and if you ever need someone to talk to I’m here.

  • macgyveringIt@lemmy.sdf.org
    3·
    2 years ago

    Absolutely without doubt. I am male 46 year I have a son (19) and daughter (22). I promise that if I randomly pick a happy moment out of my life it will include my kids, I smile when I think about them and I miss them when now that they are back at school. When I think, well they are now living their own lives now and not around as much, I remember how proud I am of them and what they are accomplishing.

    As for me getting Alzheimer’s at 65, my thoughts would be to enjoy my children and hopefully grandchildren till I no longer can function. Then it’s time to “step away”, no need to be living without life. All that life is, memories and future expectations.

    As for the kids potentially inheriting it I’d have to say life is a crap shoot but they would have many years to enjoy that life if that were the case. I know they would have the strength to deal with it. After all life is what you make it with a few bonus curve balls and sliders to keep you on your toes.

    Another thought on your children dealing with parents falling ill at an advanced age (65 and above?? I guess). They will get over it, it hurts but it’s one of those inevitable things of life that you are hard wired to deal with.

    Don’t let a potential future issue rob you of the enjoyment of the present.