Antivirus PROTOCOL just dropped on Steam today—and nope, I don’t like it.

Picture Asteroids, except you don’t shoot. The game shoots for you. And no matter what you do, you’re going to die. The only way forward is dying over and over, farming resources, and unlocking upgrades in a giant skill tree. That’s not skill. That’s persistence disguised as design.

The devs pitch it as “an incremental game about destroying viruses.” Sure—you collect data, upgrade yourself, and eventually take down bosses. Sounds good on paper. In practice, it’s just hanging around long enough for numbers to go up.

I’ve played idlers. I enjoy them. But as a shooter? Nope. It feels like an experiment that should have stayed a web demo—because that’s exactly where it came from. Built in Godot, originally on itch, and padded out into a $5 Steam debut by FIREHIVE Games.

Presentation? Way overcooked. I love 2D sprites and CRT filters. But this is every bad stereotype of “arcade aesthetic” crammed into one screen. Flashy red virus blobs, glitch text everywhere, fake scanlines—it’s exhausting.

At least the music has some chiptune charm, and the sound effects land with decent punch.

Controls are mouse only. No keyboard. No gamepad. Just drag your little ship around until you’re sick of it. It’s as barebones as control schemes get.

Specs are featherweight—Windows 10, a 2GHz CPU, 2GB RAM, 100MB disk. It even runs fine on Linux through Proton, though part of me wishes I hadn’t tested that.

Twelve reviews in, sitting around 90% positive. But I honestly don’t know what those people are playing, because I couldn’t stand it. Maybe they’re seduced by the promise of cloud saves and endless upgrade loops. Me? I see a one-note design that mistakes repetition for depth.

Intro price is C$5.84 with a launch discount. My advice? Don’t buy it. Quarantine it.

https://store.steampowered.com/app/3716650/Antivirus_PROTOCOL/

@videogames@piefed.social