Somehow I read spit shake as like a spit take with a milkshake, and was very confused.

I’m not recognizing the first one either :( which of course has to be TNG.

OP is blaming Mom’s “narcissistic tendencies” and everyone instantly takes that side. But OP says the uncle helped her figure out how to open the door. So clearly the uncle is a part of this unjust conspiracy as well. The more reasonable conclusion is that the adults in OPs life might have good reason to be accessing their room.

“I was never even mantled to begin with!”

Only a 4.5 year sentence and that dude would rather go to war? Wtf.

Have it kill slack and zoom when their buggy ass resource leaking shit grinds your system to a halt.