Golfnbrew

Most of them don’t have erasers, though. I have several in my bag

Ah, so this isn’t tinnitus, I can actually hear the sun!

Salt, as it dissolves into the glue. But I imagine a couple of sand grains would be fine, as long as you keep it away from the visual area, since sanding might bring it out and scratch the surface

Wood species and joinery would be critical. A through tenon and an oak might be enough. Middle would likely be a bit “soft” , support would be coming from the three ends.

I lean towards two finishes. Wipe-on poly, about 6 coats, then sanded back down to smooth with 320-400 after hard dry, or Briwax, for a quick wax coating.

Down votes? Apparently some do not appreciate your humor. I laughed.