Humans:

It’s just become steeped in tradition, and sorry to be a stereotypical edgelord and quote Rick Sanchez but scientifically, traditions are an idiot thing.

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it’s got diamond rain, man.

Keep that shit down, or the US will have to “bring freedom” to Neptune.

Woah there cowboy,

We’re still closer to rival monkey tribes hurling our shit at one another as it exits our anuses than we are some benevolent civilization with noble pursuits like knowledge.

Don’t worry, a few more pointless world wars and population decimations born out of glorified sociopathy, and our species might actually develop admirable priorities beyond tribal resource hoarding from the ashes.

When humans are no longer interested in keeping up with some Kardashian descendant, perhaps we will have stumbled into an age of reason. Seems like as good an indicator as any.

I mean, does Neptune have oil???

We might need a little more to finish destroying our sole, communal habitat. Anything worth doing is worth doing well!

🖕Live Service🖕

It’s not the dev’s fault, they make what they’re told to make. But the President of media enshittifier MAXHBODISCOVERYDUOPOLY has stated that is what they will continue to force feed us in lieu of content we purchase to then enjoy full stop.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Trek:_The_Next_Generation/Doctor_Who:_Assimilation²

As we’re both Trekkies, I tell my spouse who likes it warmer all the time that they’re exposing us to unnecessary radiation leaks.

Is it better to burn out or make first contact?

Honestly probably the worst thing that could have happened to him personally.

He wanted booze, money, good music, and naked women, and fully accomplished the grueling work he thought would deliver it. Instead, He got paperwork, speeches, unwanted deification, and diplomatic pressure.

And the aliens he met and had the most contact with A) treated humans like special needs kids/lower lifeforms well past his death, and B) were for all intents and purposes among the humanoid species most allergic in the galaxy to what he wanted: fun.

Imagine wanting to go to the strip club, and instead being taken to a lecture hall and pressured to give a lecture on warp theory and interplanetary diplomacy.

We were warned, too.

Impending WWIII to a normie: 😰

Impending WWIII to a Trekkie: 🥳

I can’t believe I’m not getting paid for this shit.

-Deanna, probably

Nah, Janeway always orders mass executions when she’s low on coffee.

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Yeah, I learned my lesson after completing my master’s.

It’s all a scam based on pre-existing connections with the right socio-economic circles. I won’t be here to see it, but hopefully the next iteration of human society will be less regressive.

I love that getting shitfaced drunk likely predates humanity and even primates by hundreds of millions of years.

Honestly I go TNG, ToS is for if they get hooked and are willing to look over the modest production values of the time.

"The greatest suspension of disbelief you’ll have to get over isn’t the transporters, it’s humanity being among the most noble sapient species in the galaxy.

If you can swallow that wildly fantastical pill, it’s amazing."

-my standard pitch, then when they get to the mirror verse I tell them our timeline is about to get a cameo.