shnizmuffin

What, no fried onions?

What drugs just turn off my brain so I can just be a blob of flesh

Alcohol.

Now imagine it’s not a magic box. Imagine it is a computer program, written with intent, that was intentionally fed copyrighted material so it could make those things people asked for.

Giant companies operating outside the law at “the cost of doing business” built plagiarism machines off the life’s work of thousands of people so that horny weirdos could jerk it to Pikachu with tits.

It must be nice to see your old work floating around and not default to, “Oh fuck, they haven’t touched it since I gave it to them!”

(Web Application Developer.)

what if I do want my services to be accessed through mysite.com directly instead of a specific per-service subdomain

Nope, not how the Internet works.

their distributed system

lol

I’m sorry, this license is non-transferable. We run a 20% off rebuy special once every fiscal quarter!

COUNTERPOINT: LEGO Star Trek - Lower Bricks.

There’s no pirating directly from the source, but there’s nothing stopping you from pooling cash from your buddies and setting up email forwarding.

Ah, yes, Yahoo!, the elephant graveyard of good ideas.

cry fowl

B’GAWK!

Fuckin’ does it?

Do you smell toast?

If I asked a PhD, “How many Bs are there in the word ‘blueberry’?” They’d call an ambulance for my obvious, severe concussion. They wouldn’t answer, “There are three Bs in the word blueberry! I know, it’s super tricky!”

Did you put together that Chili had a miscarriage? (The Show, Sleepytime)

…could have sworn it was All About the Pentiums.

The eyeballs. I only sweat when I’m sad.

That’s cool.

make sure this kid isnt a dipshit.

I’m not sure you can stop a kid from being a dipshit. I think the best you can hope for is to give them a chance to be good.

You’re about to be sleep tortured for 12-18 straight months. Your cognitive functions will get compromised, but they’ll come back once the kid sleeps through the night reliably. Try not to make any big decisions.

Freeze that surplus breastmilk. There are plenty of moms who have difficulty producing enough, and that’s fucking devastating to new moms. Find them and give them your surplus. Failing that, trade. Boosts the immune system.