Maybe she’s really good in bed & your dad thinks with his penis instead of his brain. But somehow he got through UCLA Law School & lawyer job every day by using his real brain.

RIP Rose Kennedy

I work incredibly hard during the day so it’s not hard for me to fall asleep at night even if I’m staring at my phone and even if I stare at it first thing when I wake up in the morning. My circadian rhythms cannot be defeated. I love sleeping all night & working me arse off all day.

Worst hoax ever 😭

I just gotta say, coming from the perspective of a woman, an epidemic lack of artistry in men has contributed to extinguishing all my hopes and dreams and wishes about finding the man of my dreams because I just wanted someone to sing & dance with me. And have found no one.

And Jimmy Hoffa mysteries solved too.

And to have it be presented to you all in one big heaping steaming fragrant pile?

We can find lost things after we die? I wanna be reunited with all the ponytail holders-rubberbands-hair-baubles I’ve lost over the years.

Yum! I can haz strawberry cream cheese bay gulls?

Are you telling me if I live by the sea, these gulls I see are not seagulls?

Only if it’s raw-dogging.

I guess I’m just enjoying this 2018 Mercedes I bought new off the lot in cash that was the last of its kind to have no big brother tech in it.

As scary & intrusive as all of that sounds, I’m still only worried they’ll spy me picking my nose while driving.

I prefer not to reference deceased scientists & philosophers because it makes me appear old. I prefer to only acknowledge the wisdom of contemporaries such as Jordan Peterson & Neil DeGrass Tyson so people don’t think I’m elderly.

/s

(This is how I feel when kids say they’re embarrassed about liking 80s music)

Drugs cost money. Am maxxed out with food, shelter, & transportation expenses. Exercise is my drug. It’s a FREE daily endorphin/adrenaline high, & it’s healthy, & all the side effects are positive, with no withdrawals, no hangovers, & improves body, thinking clarity, relationships, and as a bonus get to date hot people because exercise makes us all smokin hot.

I’m fifty years old.

Alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, Hulu, Netflix, Xbox, PlayStation, Disney+, HBO, Tesla vehicles, dating apps,

inherits? Is that really the right verb?

How about “elicits”?

private data is money and power for companies

Please someone explain to me for the thousandth time how our personal data equals money because I still don’t understand. My bank account has no money going to Google, meta, X…

I truly want to understand where they’re getting all this money.

Trump is worse than a liar. He is a bullshitter. Because at least a liar cares about the truth and attempts to hide it, while the bullshitter does not care whether what they say is true or false.

David Zurawik says we should “just assume Trump’s always lying and fact check him backwards” because that’s “how to cover a habitual liar.”